ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
