we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
