A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
