i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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