Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
