Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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