It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
