Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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