Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
