my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
