He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
