I've blown a few things in my day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
