I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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