Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
