Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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