The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize