i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
