you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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