is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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