I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i came on her dog
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
