just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
