Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
