my mouth tastes like poor choices
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am one with the molecules
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
