dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
