is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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