this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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