Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.