I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
