let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
