summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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