so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize