i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
