I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize