you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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