Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
