Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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