I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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