How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
