the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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