When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
His nipple licking is glorious
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