Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
