I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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