when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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