I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
