he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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