I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
