Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize