i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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