The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
