this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
