Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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