Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
