I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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