I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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