At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
