woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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