dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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