i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
