No stitches, just platelets and will power
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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