I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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