new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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