You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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