im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize