just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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