I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
