You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
